


A Second Chance

by sipjackerryjuice



Category: Tales from the Gas Station
Genre: Fluff, Jack is POC, Jack is a bisexual mess, Jerry is Jerry, M/M, SPOILERS major major spoilers, Smut, also there’s a new minor character but she’s not an OC I swear, but Jack took a small break bc he needed one haha, for all three books, it sort of has plot? Yeah, its much better if you’ve read the books tbh, it’s not long after the events of volume three, jerk, the fluff is exquisite though, tw minor mention of suicide and parental abuse, yeah they fuck in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:28:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23908468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sipjackerryjuice/pseuds/sipjackerryjuice
Summary: When Jack forgets the anniversary of the unfortunate accident with Sabine, nothing can cheer him up. When Jack decides to get drunk and pour his sadness out to Jerry, Jerry figures while they’re opening up about feelings, he could open up with some of his own.
Relationships: Jack/Jerry (Tales From the Gas Station)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	A Second Chance

**Author's Note:**

> this is the first fanfiction I’ve written in long while, so bear with me if it’s not the best  
> I saw the extreme lack of content for the fandom and took it upon myself to provide
> 
> kudos to accidentallyanoctopus for being the actual first, you’re the best man  
> leave a comment if you liked it :)
> 
> if Jack sees this I’ll probably commit sewerslide

Fair warning for you normal/casual readers, you may want to skip the meat of this one, and just go down to the end. For those of you particularly freaky fans who’ve been waiting for some NSFW content, today is your lucky day.

Today was one of the craziest, in some ways the worst, and in some ways the best day I had had in a long time.  
I mean, I know I’d been nearly killed multiple times and lost my leg and my pinky. I’d been shot, almost killed by an inter-dimensional creature named Sagoth, and just recently, I had sacrificed myself for the fate of our entire shitty town. Still, some days, the little things just really grind your gears. Especially since there’d been sort-of a lull in strange activity since the reality change. If not for the fact of what day it was, things had just been irritating me since I woke up from my hour of sleep. Actually sleeping and remembering it was still taking some getting used to. Still, I felt a lot less like a pile of hot, wet garbage than I usually did before the reality shift. My medicine was working, and in that regard, I felt better than I had in what seemed like forever.  
Jerry was nowhere to be found when I woke up. This might be comforting to someone else, but I knew when you couldn’t see Jerry, there’s no telling what he could be doing.  
Having Jerry as a roommate was like having a jack-in-the-box as a roommate, only whatever pops out keeps changing. I never knew just what was gonna happen next, like the other day when I found a sock stuck in the toaster when I went to make breakfast. It was tough to get out, but ultimately the toaster was still in working condition. My toast tasted a little funky, but otherwise normal. Why was a sock in there? I couldn’t tell you.  
I’d never tell him, but despite the weirdness it often brought, having Jerry around was somewhat nice. Now, I liked my solitude as much as the next guy (in fact probably a lot more than the next guy), but with how paranoid I get sometimes, it’s nice to not be the only one around here whenever I’m not working. I mean, if Spencer were to bust in here before he had moved in, without O’Brien to call, I’d be screwed. Of course, I could call her, but seeing as she didn’t remember me or anything that happened, she’d probably take it a lot less seriously. But Jerry and his katana would at least startle him a little bit if nothing else.  
After doing a quick sweep of the house and confirming that no, Jerry was not here, I went and took a shower. Only then, when there was no sound other than the “shhh” of the hot water running over my skin, did I realize what day it was.  
Today was the anniversary of...  
My breath hitched. How could I have forgotten? How could I have forgotten about her? My eyes stung, and a hard, golf ball-sized lump formed in my throat. I couldn’t help but wonder if things happened differently in this new reality. Was it a second chance? Had things only in the recent future changed?  
Who was I kidding? I’d never get a second chance. Not beautiful, one-of-a-kind Sabine. Not anyone. The universe didn’t just dish out second chances like that. Especially not to people like me.  
I stayed there for a while, letting the warm water wash my mind away. I settled into comfortable numbness for I wasn’t sure how long. All I know is that what brought me out of it was footsteps and whistling in the kitchen. I couldn’t be sure, but I think it was something by Green Day. I struggled my way out of the shower and, after thoroughly drying off my stump, refastened my prosthetic onto it. Looking at myself in the mirror, I reminded myself to look for my hairbrush later. Even wet, my thick brown hair looked like a colony of rats had had an exceptionally wild New Year’s Eve party in it. I pulled on my clothes and opened the bathroom door.  
Just as I had suspected, Jerry was rummaging around in the kitchen, probably searching for something to eat.  
“How’s it going, Blackjack?”  
I rubbed my eyes and grabbed an apple off the counter before answering. “Horrible.”  
His carefree smile turned into a look of concern. “What’s wrong, dude? If you’re still mad about the whole sock in the toaster thing I swear I didn’t know what I was-“  
I cut him off. “No, Jerry, it’s not that. Today is just a bad day for me, okay? Can we just leave it at that?”  
He nodded. “Whatever you want, Jack-In-The-Box. Hey, do we have any pickles? I couldn’t find them.”  
I sat the apple back down and scratched my head before going over to rummage through the fridge for the pickle jar. “What do you need the pickles for? Are you making a sandwich or just craving one?”  
“I’m making a PB&P sandwich.”  
I raised an eyebrow, handing him the half-full pickle jar. “Do I even wanna know what that is?”  
“Peanut butter and pickle,” he said matter-of-factly. I couldn’t stop myself from gagging.  
“Where in the motherfucking hell did you get the idea for such a god-forsaken abomination?!”  
He grinned his usual shit-eating grin.  
“Don’t knock it ‘til you try it, dude. Remember, you’re the one who eats pizza with ketchup.”  
I laughed disgustedly. “I’m definitely gonna knock it, and I’m sure as hell not gonna try it. And you’re the one that was eating fuckin Nacho Cheese Doritos with chocolate syrup the other day!”  
“Alright, well, I’ll give you $20 if you eat half. And in my defense, I was stoned as hell when I did that.”  
The idea of eating half of such an awful creation made my stomach turn, but twenty bucks could buy me a brand new book. Since New Pages wasn’t open anymore, it was getting harder and harder to find decent books that weren’t from the Barnes and Noble online catalog or Amazon. The temptation of a new book complete with that rush of serotonin from the smell was too much.  
“Fine. I’ll do it. But I reserve the right to puke afterwards when it’s revolting.”  
“Fair enough, buddy.”  
I couldn’t bear to watch him make the vile thing, so I walked into my bedroom, loading up my backpack with a change of clothes, and the books I’d be reading tonight. After this, Jerry called me into the kitchen. Sitting next to the plate on which the Sandwich From Hell sat on was a crinkled twenty. He offered me half, and I took it. I stared at it for a minute, trying to find the strength to put in my mouth. He’d used the nice bread, and I almost chewed him out for using the good bread on such a disgusting creation. Eventually I took a bite, and it … wasn’t as horrible as I’d been expecting. It wasn’t anything to write home about, but it didn’t make me want to immediately puke my guts up.  
“Well?”  
I swallowed and took another small bite. “It’s not… awful.”  
He grinned again and slapped the twenty into my hand. He didn’t have to say anything else, he knew and I knew that he’d won.  
He took the other half of the sandwich, grabbed a cold one from the fridge, and strolled into the living room. I imagined he’d gone to play some poorly translated Chinese knock-off of Super Mario. I stood in the kitchen, watching the clouds drift across the pink evening sky. It was nearly the same shade as the pink lipstick She’d been wearing when we had our first kiss. After realizing what today was, I had decided I’d only work half my shift, and get one of our part-timers to cover the rest of it. That way, I could come home and get so drunk I wouldn’t be able to see straight or remember my name (and that’s saying something because my name is like one of the easiest ones to remember).  
I mindlessly wandered around the house, hoping the hours would tick by fast. I willed myself not to think of Sabine for now as I arranged my books and sorted them by alphabetical order. Once I had thoroughly dissatisfied myself with that, I decided sorting them by genre was better.  
I cleaned up Jerry’s room, which was no small task. By the time I was done, it was time to go to work. I slung my backpack over my shoulder and nudged Jerry with my fake foot.  
“Hey, dude, wake up. I’m going to work. Car’s coming with me.”  
He slurred something that sounded suspiciously like “cinnamon rolls”. He blinked and rubbed his eyes as he sat up.  
“I’m not going for the whole shift. I’ll be back early.”  
He jumped up eagerly. “I’ll keep your bed warm for you!”  
I started to protest, but he’d already run out of the room. Jerry always insisted that my bed was softer, and the mattress was better. I guess that was from the books that had been piled onto it for so long? I guess they’d broken it in. It wasn’t like I used it much, but it always had an overpowering scent of stale cigarette smoke after he slept in it. It wasn’t fun to constantly smell it when I was laying in bed reading on my nights off.  
I decided telling him to go sleep in his own bed wasn’t worth the effort and grabbed my keys. Jerry had paid to get my Nissan fixed once things calmed down. It cost a lot, and I felt guilty. But we shared it, so we both benefited. It looked almost brand new now. Who knows how long that’ll last, though?  
After getting my prosthetic, I slowly reacclimated to driving. I wasn’t the best at it, but I wasn’t gonna kill anyone (probably). Vehicular manslaughter was the farthest thing from my mind right now. The ride out to the gas station was quiet and uneventful. You could almost say it was peaceful. It would have been if my thoughts weren’t so damn depressing. Rosa was just finishing up counting down the till when I walked in. Her pink, glittery phone sat on the counter, playing some 70’s tune I couldn’t quite place. She greeted me with a wave and a big smile. It was good to know that Rosa was her usual cheery self. She’d changed the pink highlights in her hair to a sunny yellow.  
“Hey Jack! How are you?”  
Instead of being honest like I had been with Jerry, I lied.  
“Oh, you know. I’m alive, so that always makes me feel good. I’m good. Doing good. How are you?”  
“I’m good! I cleaned the tar pit up again, and I reorganized the shelves. I heard something knocking around back where the dumpsters are, but I haven’t had the chance to investigate. I feel bad leaving it to you, but I’ve got to get home to feed Mittens.”  
Mittens was Rosa’s new cat. He was a fluffy black cat with white patches of fur around his feet like mittens, and she regularly showed us pictures of him. He’s probably one of the most adorable things I’ve ever seen, and photogenic as hell. I didn’t mind Rosa not going and dealing with the mysterious dumpster noise. Truthfully, I wouldn’t have wanted to go out there either. But I was going to have to go and deal with it now anyway.  
“It’s okay, I’ll go see what it is. You get home to Mittens. By the way, I like your hair. Pink and yellow definitely are your colors.” I managed a convincing enough smile, despite my general melancholy. Rosa beamed at the hair comment. She clocked out, told me to call her if I needed anything like she often did now, and flew off in her little green VW Beetle.  
Upon going out to the back, my suspicions were confirmed. I spent the next half an hour stuffing the massive amount of garbage Rocco had strewn across the ground into a contractor bag. I needed to figure out some way to get rid of those damn raccoons. While doing that, I managed to bust open a can of old spray cheese on my jeans, making a grand, cheesy mess.  
“You’ve gotta be kidding me.”  
Now thoroughly irritated, I cleaned up the rest of the garbage and tried in vain to salvage my jeans from the expired aerosol cheese, before changing into my spare pair. .  
Things were normal until about midnight. At around 11:30, I walked out to check on one of the pumps that hadn’t been working. It was an easy fix, but I ended up nearly spilling gas all over my shirt. Tonight was definitely not the night for that because I knew if I tried hard enough, I could probably convince myself to pull a Calvin Ambrose. I definitely wouldn’t call it suicidal, maybe just… opportunistic. As I headed back to the gas station, I saw a herd of kangadeer in the distance. I gave them a wave and a nod, but they didn’t acknowledge me. I couldn’t quite figure out why, but it made me feel just a little bit worse.  
At midnight, the bottom dropped out. If clouds had been gathering, I hadn’t seen it. The lightning was lighting up the sky every few seconds, and I could see the Man in the Blue Raincoat standing at the edge of the parking lot. Like a lot of things around here, I ignored it. Thunder crashed hard enough to shake the ground. Rain slammed against the door, becoming so bad that I could hardly see out of it. It felt as if I were in the epicenter of a hurricane.  
At about one in the morning, the power went out. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to describe the primal fear you feel when you’re in a dirty gas station bathroom with no windows, and suddenly all the light is gone. A voice in the dark made me feel more at ease. It was the Bathroom Cowboy. I washed my hands to the sweet melody of “Rhinestone Cowboy”, nodded in the direction I assumed he was, and left the bathroom.  
At two in the morning, the weather had eased up. It was now only a torrential downpour, with occasional flashes of lightning. We still had no power. The bell on the gas station door rang.  
“We don’t have any power, so unless you’re paying in exact change, I can’t help you,” I said dismissively. I didn't bother to look up from the shitty alien romance novel I was reading by candlelight. When there was no response, I sat my book down and scanned the store. The man who had come into the store was looking around the cold drink case. He either did have exact change, was hard-of-hearing, or was stupid. He was drenched in rainwater and was wearing a torn black and white shirt and filthy, muddy jeans. There were two noticeably large holes near the midsection of his shirt with what was either mud, or dried blood caked around it. He left little puddles of translucent red on the floor as he went. His appearance unnerved me. What unnerved me more was the fact that this person felt way too familiar, but I just couldn’t put my finger on who he was. He grabbed an iced coffee from the bottom rack and walked over, placing it on the counter.  
“How’s it going, homie?”  
I blinked. Why did that nickname make me feel so uneasy?  
“I’m uh… fine. Just waiting out this storm and waiting for my shift to be over.”  
“You’re not really fine, are you Jack?”  
What a weird thing to say to someone. If my name tag wasn’t clearly in view on my shirt, I’d have been concerned as to how he knew my name.  
“Uh…. I mean, not really. Am I really ever fine?”  
“You’re thinking about Sabine, aren’t you? How could you forget about her? How could you forget what today was?”  
I managed to keep my jaw from falling open, but my eyebrows shot up at breakneck speed. This interaction was weird and tedious before, but now I really wanted it over. I was angry.  
“Look buddy, I don’t know who the hell you are. But what gives you the right to come in here and try to talk to me about her? Just take it and get out.” I’d happily write up an inventory loss slip later if this guy would just leave.  
“Can I ask you something, Jack?”  
“No.”  
“Do you like men? Do you like to kiss guys?”  
His words hit me like a ton of bricks to the chest. My breath caught in my throat, and my eyes nearly popped out of my skull. Of course, I wasn’t gonna answer that kind of personal question for this creepy motherfucker, but it still caught me way off guard. Usually, I would just let this stuff go and be my usual apathetic self. But this guy was majorly pissing me off!  
“Did Sabine know you liked to get off to pictures of-“  
“Fuck you! And fuck the horse you rode in on! You don’t get to just come in here, accost me about Sabine, and then tease me about my sexuality! It doesn’t work like that! Now would you just go ahead and get out?!”  
I gripped the edges of the counter until my knuckles went white. It took a lot of willpower on my part not to punch this creepy fucker in the jaw.  
He leaned in closer, and his brown eyes swirled like a dark whirlpool. His long, soaking wet brown hair hung down in his face. He grinned wide, showing off a mouth of slightly crooked teeth. His lips were busted and bloody. The lightning cast shadows across the store and onto his tan skin. His face was just a little too close to mine.  
“I think we both know the answer, Jack. I saw the way you looked at me. You’re not as slick as you think you are, homie.”  
“Get the hell out of my gas station.”  
I thought it was strange that he used the past tense. And that nickname…  
That’s when I realized who it was. I blinked, and Tony was gone. The iced coffee still sat on the counter, condensation sliding down the sides. I took it, opened it, and drank it all in one go.  
Sexuality wasn’t and had never been a black-and-white thing for me. I thought girls were beautiful, and I was definitely attracted to them. Still, when I was young, you wouldn’t be hard-pressed to find me wandering down the men’s underwear aisle for a little longer than necessary. Or in my teens, to find me looking at a certain kind of magazine my foster parents would’ve beat me if they discovered. Then I reached that age where it was in my best interest to decide who I was into kissing during spin-the-bottle. I made the decision that if anyone decided to like me in this shithole of a place- be it a guy or a girl -well, I’d consider it a win. I guess that made me bisexual, but I wasn’t one for putting unnecessary labels on things. And that wasn’t exactly something I should be proud to broadcast in this God-fearing, Bible Belt town. Not unless I wanted to be any more of a social pariah than I already was, or even worse, “disappear”.  
But now, after Her, I just wasn’t up to anything anymore. I don’t know how or why Rosa and I had been dating in this new reality. Rosa was sweet and all, but I just didn’t feel like I was in the right frame of mind for that kind of thing.  
I mopped up the puddles, and that was that.  
I watched the rain ease up as the end of my half shift drew nearer. By the time one of the part-timers came in, I was counting down my till and counting down the minutes on the clock, my backpack slung over my shoulder. I wanted to go home and just forget. I was surprised Jerry hadn’t hitchhiked or walked his way out here. He was probably still passed out in my bed.  
“Morning Jack,” Sarah said, rubbing her eyes.  
“Hey, thanks again for agreeing to cover for me. I really appreciate it.”  
She yawned a bit and nodded. “Always happy to help.”  
She was one of the newest part-timers.  
Fresh outta high school, she ran away down here from Michigan and was staying with a “friend of hers''. Why’d she chosen to come here? Even she said she didn’t know.  
“Somewhere else to be, I guess. I had a friend here, so here’s where I ended up. I’d never seen a real live alligator before coming here, so that was cool.”  
I couldn’t help but worry she may end up the same way Vanessa did. She was young and vibrant, a perfect new target for Spencer Middleton to put a bullet into. She ran a hand through her dreads as she went to clock in and grab a cup of Jack’s World Famous Coffee. I didn’t even remember putting a pot on.  
I was glad to be the one to hire Sarah in all honesty. This gas station was nuts, there was no denying. If I had the option to not hire anyone, I would. However (not even considering Spencer), a lot of people around here weren’t so kind to people like her, much in the same way they weren’t to O’Brien. Or to me, for that matter.  
I gave her her first sale of the early morning shift when I bought several bottles of cheap liquor.  
“Gonna have a party?”  
I shrugged. “Something like that.”  
I said a half-hearted goodbye to her and drove myself home. The rain was gentle and was all but gone by the time I parked in my driveway.  
Jerry was not asleep in my bed as I had expected, but was in the living room. He was invested in GTA 5 on my flat screen. He had changed since I last saw him and was now wearing a shirt with Peppa Pig wearing Thug Life sunglasses on it that said “fuck bitches, get money”.  
“Hey buddy! How’s everything going in that pretty brain of yours?”  
“Oh, you mean the severely sleep-deprived one? Yeah, it’s uh… yeah. Hey man, do you wanna get drunk? Like ‘what’s my last name again?’ drunk.”  
“You had me at hey.”  
I had intended to sit in the kitchen and get drunk alone, but now, I felt a strong desire to be in the presence of another person. And Jerry was the only person I never felt awkward talking to.  
“Let me go change into something else. These pants are too tight, and I want them off.”  
He chuckled.  
“I can help with that, buddy.”  
I rolled my eyes. I was seriously getting tired of Jerry’s play-flirting.  
“Shut the fuck up Jerry.”  
We sat down at the kitchen table with a two-liter of Coke, two glasses, and a bottle of cheap whiskey. Before I could even take a sip of my first drink, Jerry was quizzing me about my sour mood.  
“Assuming it’s not the sock thing, and you’re not lying, something has got you really upset-“ he paused to take a sip straight from the bottle of whiskey “- and you shouldn’t be like that, you know. Gives you wrinkles. What’s got you this way? Who pissed in your proverbial cereal?”  
He slid a cigarette out of his pack and lit it.  
I knew there was no way I’d get Jerry to not smoke in my house, so I kept ashtrays around, and let’s just say if there was a fire, we’d be the last to know. It was a miracle that his voice didn’t sound like rocks in a garbage disposal, the way he smoked. Of course, he was slowly getting better about it, not smoking as much or smoking outside. He told me he was trying to quit, and I believed him.  
Though I didn’t enjoy my house smelling like smoke, he was sitting here with me and keeping me company. So I didn’t feel justified in saying anything about it.  
I debated on whether I should tell him the truth. I knew he knew about Sabine because I had told him. I told him that night I brought him the Pedialyte and we talked about Vanessa. But I wasn’t sure if I could get the words out. I felt like if I didn’t admit out loud that I had forgotten, it didn’t count. I watched him take a long drag from his cigarette. After taking a long swing from the bottle myself, I opened up to him.  
“Today… well, yesterday I guess… was the anniversary of the accident. With… with Sabine.”  
“The owner’s daughter? The one you dated?”  
I thought about coming back with a snide comment but instead just muttered “yeah”.  
He nodded. “That’s some heavy stuff, man.”  
Tears began to run down my face. I felt detached from them. I’d done so little crying since that day and the month that followed. I often thought I had no tears left, but here we were.  
“And I forgot about it. I forgot what day it was. I only remembered yesterday afternoon.” I wiped my eyes with my sleeve. I forgot how much crying hurt my eyes. They already hurt constantly from me not closing them enough. I found myself leaning on him, wrapping my arms around him. The tears came harder. Maybe it was something about the alcohol that made me sob like this. But I’d never been this way before when I was drunk.  
“Hey. It’s alright man. I’m sure she’d understand. It’s not easy remembering things when you put up with all the bullshit you put up with.”  
No joke. No witty comment. Just comforting words. We stayed like that until my tears subsided. Jerry didn’t say anything, just hugged me and rubbed my back reassuringly. I pulled away from him and smiled weakly before taking another long sip from the bottle. We hadn’t even touched our actual drinks at this point.  
“Thanks, Jerry. That means a lot.”  
His grin returned.  
“No problem, Jack.”  
He then proceeded to down the entirety of his Jack and Coke, and refill it. I put my head in my hands. He took another pull off his cigarette, and I watched him blow the smoke from his mouth. I always liked watching that. I couldn’t tell you exactly why at the time, but I did.  
“And when I was working, Tony came in and-“  
“WOAH what?! Tony?!”  
“- made me feel horrible for forgetting what day it was which doesn’t even make sense because he doesn’t know about Her-“  
“Isn’t Tony like fucking dead dude?!”  
“- which I don’t even know how because I literally watched him get shot-“  
“Do you think he’s a zombie?”  
“-and then he teased me for being bisexual-“  
“You’re bisexual?! Shit man, me too! Why the hell would he tease you about that?!”  
“-and I think he may’ve been coming onto me a little? But-“  
“Do you think Tony had a thing for guys?!”  
“-I blinked, and he was gone. So I think it was a hallucination. But the iced coffee he got out of the cold drink case was still on the counter, and there were puddles where he’d come in, so I don’t know. Wait, you’re bisexual?”  
“Sure am Jackalope. I thought it was kinda obvious.”  
“I mean a lot of times it’s hard to tell when you’re joke-flirting with other guys or being serious.”  
I took a long sip of my drink.  
“Well, you let me know if Tony comes back, and I’ll kick his sweet ass.”  
I laughed. “I’m sure Tony could have you begging for mercy within minutes.”  
“I’d have him in a headlock faster than you can say ‘shitty zombie movie’.”  
I laughed again.  
“Okay dude, whatever you say.”  
We sat there for a while, progressively getting drunker and drunker. I know we talked about a lot of things, but all of that’s a blur compared to what sticks out in my memory next.  
“So you’re actually bi, huh? You know, you always struck me as super straight.”  
“Well, I mean, I like girls, but guys are fine too. Anyone that likes me honestly. In fact, I think I take offense to being called super straight, thank you very much.”  
He got a mischievous grin on his face.  
“So Jack Townsend plays for both teams, huh? Good to know, good to know.”  
That smile always made me nervous. It meant Jerry was planning something.  
“If you tell anyone, I’ll literally kill you. And that’s not a threat I use lightly.”  
“My lips are sealed.”  
He scooted closer to me as I took another long drink from the whiskey bottle. We were both fairly plastered at this point. I noticed that our faces were closer than they’d usually be. Then, all of a sudden, he looked nervous.  
“Well, Jack, I uh…”  
Was he….  
Where was this going?  
“I like you. I like you a lot. Like I mean... I…”  
My face must’ve said something before my brain even had the chance to formulate a thought because he pulled away suddenly.  
It wasn’t that I didn’t find Jerry attractive. It wasn’t even that… that I didn’t have feelings for him. My emotions were always confusing to me anyway. I did my best to ignore them most of the time. I was having a hard time doing that lately, though.  
Jerry was definitely attractive. It’s just… I really hadn’t expected to be hit with this right now. If I was in a better mind frame, I could’ve handled it better.  
But then my mind recalled that night at the carnival.  
_I don’t think he likes me very much either._  
I knew if I didn’t do anything now, if I rejected him now, there wouldn’t be a second chance. Jerry would push it down and wouldn’t bring it up again. It would be impossible to bring it back to the surface. He’d hide it behind a wall of humor and general jackassery. He was opening up to me. It was my job to bridge the gap. And truthfully, Jerry was nowhere near even the top twenty on the list of Worst People To Be Romantically Involved With.  
“No, wait, Jerry. Don’t look like that, I…”  
“Ah, I was just kidding. I really got you didn’t I? Ha!” I’m sure even he could sense the subtle shake in his voice. Anything I had to say wasn’t going to do it. He was already retreating. This required action.  
I leaned in and kissed him.  
I felt him jump a little. I’m sure he hadn’t expected me to do that, and I certainly hadn’t expected me to do that. I knew I was not a great or even coordinated kisser. Sabine never hesitated to tell me when I was doing particularly bad that it was like kissing a fish. She said in a joking way, but I knew I sucked. But if I was doing it wrong, Jerry wasn’t put off by it. His lips moved softly against mine as if kissing me was the best thing in the world. The remainder of his cigarette fell onto the tiled kitchen floor and went out. I let my eyes close and lost myself in it. After a solid minute that felt more like only a few, too-short seconds, he pulled away. For a moment, none of us said a word. We just stared at each other.  
“Was… was that awful? Did you feel like you were kissing a bag of wet sand?”  
“What? No! That was…. probably one of the best kisses I’ve ever had, actually. I think you and I both know you could use some work, but that was so fuckin’ rad.”  
I reached over slowly and opened another bottle of whiskey. I took a long sip and then slowly looked back at Jerry. He was still slightly stunned.  
“.....Rad enough that you’d do it again?”  
Instead of responding, he grabbed the sides of my face and pulled me for another kiss. This one was passionate, not as withheld and nervous. I let him wrap his arms around me, and we only broke away when the need for air was too pressing to ignore. We stayed there, faces inches apart, staring into each other’s eyes. When he spoke, it was barely even a whisper.  
“I love you, Jack. I have for a while now. But I didn’t wanna say anything because-“  
I cut him off with another kiss. I couldn’t help myself. His kind words made me feel giddy in a way I hadn’t in a long ass time. The chair almost tipped over when it turned into a full-on make-out session. Pretty soon, we were touching and grabbing at each other like horny virgins on their wedding night. Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe I was just really really drunk, and I’d regret it in the morning. Maybe it was the sadness and the loneliness. Maybe it was all those combined. But maybe it wasn’t.  
Maybe I was in love with Jeremy Pascal.  
“Uhm~” Soft sounds escaped my mouth as Jerry began to palm me through my sweatpants. It took me a bit to break away. I didn’t really want to, but I knew if things went any further, we’d end up spilled out on the floor from the wobbly chair that now supported both our weights. I knew it probably wasn’t a huge amount when you put it together. I weighed probably as much as a loaf of bread. But still, the creaks from the wooden chair were making me nervous.  
“Jerry, this chair is gonna fuckin break. We gotta move somewhere else.”  
He grinned and raised his eyebrows.  
“How about your bedroom?”  
I didn’t say anything for a long moment. Never had anything Jerry said before filled me with such anxiety and such excitement at the same time. And he’d said a lot of crazy shit to me. Despite my momentary silence, the words had left my mouth before I even registered the implications.  
“Yeah man totally, let’s go.”  
I climbed off of him. I hadn’t thought about it when I said it, and I sure as hell wasn’t gonna think about it now, as we made our way to my bedroom, hands and mouths all over each other, leaving a trail of clothes behind us. I was too busy staring into his big blue puppy dog eyes. We ended up on my bed, bodies pressed together. His breath smelled like cigarettes, whiskey, and cherries. The last one surprised me a bit. I’d lost my underwear somewhere near the bathroom, and Jerry was just barely holding onto his. They hung low on his hips, so I went right ahead and pulled them off.  
I’d seen his dick before. When you’re friends with a guy like Jerry, you’re bound to see him naked at least once. That particular once was when he was showing off his junk to Calvin Ambrose before the guy set himself on fire. The two weren’t related, though. Or maybe they were. If they were, I sure wasn’t seeing why. I’d never seen him naked in this context before, and sure, I had some desires, but none were to set myself on fire. Before I had a chance to voice these thoughts, Jerry spoke.  
“You’re a lot bigger than I thought. I mean, no offense man, it’s just kinda hard to tell because you wear super baggy pants all the time.”  
“Thanks…? I mean you’re pretty impressive yourself.” I felt my face getting hotter and redder than it already was.  
If you had told me before I went to work that within 12 hours that I would be comparing dicks with Jerry, I would’ve laughed right in your face. Yet here I was. His lips trailed from just behind my ear down my jawline, all the way to the base of my neck. My body arched forward as he slid his hand down my front. I hadn’t felt a touch like this in so long. A soft moan escaped my mouth as he began to stroke my half boner. His lips retraced their path back up, and he whispered in my ear.  
“You’re so sexy, Jack.”  
Those were words I hadn’t heard together in the same sentence in a very long time.  
“I think you’re just drunk.”  
“I think it’s both.”  
I couldn’t argue with that. It only took a few minutes of Jerry running one hand across my chest with focus on my nipples, and his other hand stroking my cock, rubbing his thumb over the tip. Then I was harder than I think I’ve been in years. Once he was satisfied with how turned on he’d made me, we made out, rutting against each other like slutty teens on prom night. I felt his own erection sliding against my inner thigh. My heart was racing and my skin felt hot. Our tongues were practically shoved down each other’s throats as he slid his hands up and down my hips. This was something that was still somewhat unfamiliar to me. Of course, when Sabine and I got older, we… did things. But the longer time went on, the blurrier those memories became (much to my dismay). Maybe I wasn’t the best judge, but in my opinion, Jerry was terrific at this. My train of thought was interrupted when the million-dollar question came up.  
“Have you ever done anything with a guy before? …. like you know what I mean.”  
“Have I…. have I had sex with a guy before? No.”  
That was true, but if I said I wasn’t somewhat prepared for this, I would be lying. Let’s just say that on rare occasions, I’ve been known to browse the back of Spencer’s. Not Spencer, Spencer’s. That’s a critical distinction to make here.  
“But if you want to be the first, I don’t think I’d have a problem with that.” I giggled drunkenly.  
“Do you have any condoms?”  
“Let me check.” I wriggled out from underneath and gave him a long kiss before walking over to rummage through the nightstand. At the very bottom- buried underneath a few worn paperbacks and a bottle of pills -was a small box of condoms and an unopened bottle of KY lube. Had I bought this and put it here? If I did, I didn’t remember it. I’ll fess up, the lube was mine. But the condoms must’ve come from one of my foster brothers. Unless I had bought them on a whim and completely forgotten about it. Both were probably just as likely. I tore open the box and pulled a condom out. I handed it and the lube to Jerry as I came back over. He ran his hands from my thighs up to my ribs.  
“You’re really skinny, you know that? Mr. Skinny Legend. Like damn, I can feel your ribs! I could play them like a xylophone.”  
I laughed out loud at that and collapsed back onto the bed. I unfastened my prosthetic and propped it up against the nightstand.  
“Awh man is your leg gonna watch us screw?”  
“Yeah, it always likes to watch me and my conquests.”  
“It can always join the fun if it wants to.”  
I snickered as I slid it under the bed.  
“I think that would be a little bit too crowded for me.”  
Once I laid back down, he wasted no time crawling on top of me, and we started sucking face again. We stayed like that for a while until the anticipation became physically unbearable.  
“Hey, I’m enjoying doing this. I like it, I mean, making out with you? But-“  
He smirked. “You like making out with me?”  
“-can we maybe get this train moving a little faster? I mean- EEP!”  
I jolted when I felt his cold, slick fingers pressing into me. I let out a soft gasp as he began to work them in. It felt a lot different when someone else was doing it. I listened to him whisper sweet things against my neck like “you’re so pretty” and “I’ve wanted to be with you like this for so long”.  
I felt flattered by his sweet words. Thinking back on it, I felt kind of dumb for not seeing it. Sometimes he’d look at me in a certain way, or make flirty jokes that seemed a little more than just meaningless fun. And I never knew when I'd get a surprise hug from him. I already knew I was clueless. I never picked up on the subtle things unless someone directly pointed it out, and the things I did notice, I usually just ignored.  
He curled and uncurled his fingers, earning a few breathy moans from me.  
“Are you uncomfortable?”  
I shook my head.  
“I-it feels good.”  
His face was slightly confused.  
“What’s wrong?”  
“No it’s just…. usually it feels really weird the first time.”  
“Well… uh…. I kind of… sort of…. have done stuff like this before. At least this part.”  
“Oh? You have?”  
“Haha yeah…”  
“With who?”  
“Uh… myself?”  
“Oh okay, I see. Damn Jack, I didn’t know you got down like that.”  
I meant to respond with a witty comeback that would leave him speechless. But instead, what came out was a loud, gaspy moan. My toes curled. I threw my hand over my mouth in shock. Before I’d had a chance to speak, he’d pushed his fingers in deeper and hit a sweet spot.  
“You d-dirty bastard.”  
He just grinned that shit-eating grin at me. I kissed it off of his face.  
This went on for a while. My face pressed into Jerry’s shoulder, eyes closed, as he worked the tension out of me with his fingers. I wasn’t sure what all I said to him during that time, but I think it was mostly various noises and swears.  
After what could’ve been only minutes but felt like hours, he slid his fingers out of me, wiping his hand on the bedspread. It would’ve bothered me a little if I hadn’t already known I was gonna have to wash it all anyway after we were done.  
This was nice, and I knew it would be so easy to just let it happen. To keep my mouth shut. To let it stay as a drunken one-night stand. But so much had happened. And through it all, Jerry had been there for me. He’d saved my skinny ass so many times. Multiple times were as a decomposing head. And my feelings were growing by the second. The Jack from the carnival and the Jack here and now, kissing his best friend, were two different people. Jerry didn’t deserve that. He didn’t deserve to be dismissed and forgotten like that.  
“Hey man, look. I … I want you to know that this isn’t nothing to me.”  
“... Okay?”  
“Like, I know we’re really drunk, and this could easily be a one night stand but-“  
“Jack if you don’t want this to be anything then-  
“I love you.”  
The room was silent for what felt like ages. Jerry stared at me with wide eyes. Then I kept going.  
“I think I’ve had these feelings for a while. You’re an amazing person. Sometimes you smoke too many cigarettes, but you’re funny, and you’re kind, and you’re always on board with all the weird shit I say and do. You always believe me, and you’re constantly saving my ass.”  
“... But?”  
“There’s no but, Jerry. God, I love you, you crazy son of a bitch.”  
He smiled and pulled me in, and our lips met in a much more tender kiss than I had expected. This was by far the best one since we’d started kissing. There was just something special to it. I didn’t have too long to think about it because once we broke away for air, he flipped me over onto my stomach. He ran his hands down from my shoulders all the way down my back, and I made a weird squeak noise when he grabbed my ass.  
“How are you this skinny and still have this fine of a backside? This ass is worth at least ten grand!”  
I shrugged.  
“I don’t often sit down and ponder how much my ass is worth.”  
He laughed and leaned down, pressing feverish kisses to the backs of my shoulders. I heard him unwrapping the condom behind me.  
“You’re gonna go easy on me, right? I mean, I’ve never done this before. And I’ve been told it hurts.”  
“Yeah, of course. I’ll be gentle.”  
“I mean… I don’t know if it’ll hurt so bad for me because I’ve… I’ve done something similar to this on my own… I guess you could say I’ve had practice? I mean when you only sleep for an hour a day if at all, things get boring. And with all the shitty erotic novels I read-“  
“That’s so hot.” He looked pretty shocked.  
“Damn, you’re really just full of surprises aren’t you, Jack?”  
I felt my face getting redder and redder. I let out a little yelp as I felt Jerry spread a generous handful of lube on my entrance. He pulled me closer.  
“I hope it’ll fit.”  
He laughed loudly.  
“Now you’re just trying to flatter me.”  
“No, I’m totally serious.”  
“Well, let’s find out then, shall we?”  
I felt him push in. It was slow and careful, the antithesis of how Jerry boasted he was in bed. The pain wasn’t blinding, but it was certainly noticeable. A tight, stinging sensation in my lower half. I bit my lip. He snaked his arm around me and started jacking me off. This wasn’t the same slow and gentle stroking from earlier. It was hard and fast movements that made me want to thrust my hips forward. The pleasure it was bringing me was doing a decent job at alleviating the stinging pain that grew as he slid deeper inside me. When he finally managed to fit it all in, the contradictory mixture of pleasure and pain was all but driving me crazy. I tried to form coherent sentences about the way he had me feeling right now, but all that managed to come out was  
“Jerryyy~”  
He placed gentle kisses on the back of my neck until I found my voice properly.  
“God… fuck… just…. give me a minute… I need a…”  
Jerry ran his free hand up and down the side of my body, his lips moving along the nape of my neck.  
“Take as long as you need, babe.”  
As if my heart wasn’t already beating hard enough to bust out of my chest, “babe” made it skyrocket. It took a little while to get to the point where I felt comfortable with him moving it. The pain was fading, but it was taking its sweet time doing it.  
“Okay, I think you c-can move a little bit. Just a… just a little bit though.”  
“Just concentrate on relaxing.” He whispered in my ear before placing a soft, slow kiss right underneath it.  
I felt a little jolt of pain with every small movement he made, and tears would gather at the corners of my eyes. But their intensity slowly began to decrease. I bit my lip and focused on the pleasure from his hand wandering and touching all over my crotch, and relaxing.  
I closed my eyes and pictured the gas station and a good book at about three in the morning. Snowflakes falling outside, a hot drink, and no customers to bother me. And then, I pictured Jerry’s big blue eyes and his smile. That warm laugh he had. Then I felt my muscles relaxing, and my body slackening. The pain slowly trickled away as I went warm and tingly. It was like someone draining a bathtub, and then just like that, it began to refill again. But this time, it wasn’t pain. I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding. Out with it came a soft moan.  
“O-okay, you can move a little faster…”  
“What was that? Did you say stop?” I could practically hear his stupid shit-eating grin behind me.  
“You better not.” I turned the top half of my body around and pulled him into a deep, messy kiss, wrapping my arm around him. He bit my bottom lip softly, and I pushed my tongue into his mouth. He started to thrust in faster. My legs twitched with each one.  
I wasn’t even filtering what I was saying anymore. I had stuck a spigot into my emotion and threw out my inhibitions, and was just letting it flow out. Through the breaks for air between making out, I told Jerry: “There’s no one else I’d rather be doing this with.”  
“I’m honored to take your anal virginity.”  
“Shut up and fuck me.”  
I knew Jerry was strong, but I severely underestimated his lower-body strength. Every time I urged him to go faster, he’d oblige. By the time he really built up speed, I could barely hold myself up enough to kiss him or keep the uncontrollable moans in. I was sweating, and I could feel familiar pressure and heat building up in my abdomen. By this point, Jerry was moaning steadily as well. He pulled me up, keeping me steady against him, and I leaned against him as he marked up my neck and shoulder. I swallowed and let out another loud moan as he gave another exceptionally hard pump into me.  
“Oh god… oh god… Jerry… fuck… I love you… oh god I… I fuckin love you…” I laughed, but it quickly turned into another moan.  
He ran his free hand up and down my body and was jerking me off nearly faster than I could bear. I ran my hands through his blond hair and pulled him in close. We stared into each other’s eyes for what felt like ages, and I’d never felt closer to him or felt as if I understood him more than I did at that moment.  
“I love you too.”  
I closed the distance between us, and this time, I felt like I actually did a pretty good job of kissing him. My legs were twitching and trembling, and as we made out, the heat in the pit of my stomach grew to almost unbearable levels.  
“Unh, Jerry, fuck, I’m close~, a-a little to the left.”  
“Mm l-like this?  
“Shit, o-oh god… I-I don’t think I can- AH!”  
My vision went spotty, and a tidal wave of euphoria flooded through me as he grinded into my prostate. My head fell back hard against Jerry’s shoulder, and I clutched desperately at the sheets as I came all over my stomach and his hand and just generally everywhere. I meant to say something like “ohgodohfuckyesjerryrightthereplease”, but it probably came out in much more of a jumbled, incoherent mess than that. With one more good thrust or two, he was orgasming too, moaning my name and making some noises I’d never in my life thought I’d hear him make. Neither of us could do anything for a good minute or so. I leaned against Jerry, panting hard, and he did his best not to collapse and fall off the bed. I was the first one to speak, when I got enough air back into my lungs to speak, between heavy breaths.  
“That was incredible.”  
He kissed the side of my face, and I turned my head to kiss him. It was soft and intimate and filled with mutual post-sex bliss. I brought my hand up to caress his cheek. He wrapped his arms around me, and that’s how we stayed for a little while, kissing and holding onto each other. Eventually, we broke away. He slid out of me and helped me refasten my leg in and clean up. I assessed the damage his lips had done in the mirror, and my neck and shoulders looked more red and purple than their standard coffee-with-a-little-too-much-creamer color. With the sheets in the washing machine, we collapsed onto the living room on the couch, still naked. I pulled a blanket over us. We sat there in the peaceful pre-dawn silence. He lit up a cigarette, and I watched the smoke waft from his mouth and nose after each drag he took. He smoked the entire thing before he spoke.  
“So… what was that? I mean… Jack if you want that to just be drunken sex and nothing else I get it I mean-”  
“Jerry. Stop being nervous. It sounds wrong when you of all people get like that. Plus, there’s no reason for it. That definitely wasn’t just drunken sex, and I meant every word I said. You’re a wonderful person, and I can’t think of anywhere else in the world I’d want to be than right here, besides maybe laying on a beach in Hawaii. But I’d want to be doing it with you, so I think that counts. What I’m-“  
“Doing it with me? Or _doing it_ with me?”  
“Shut up and let me finish. What I’m trying to say is, I love you.”  
He smiled, big and bright. His blue eyes sparkled.  
“I love you too, dude.”  
I leaned up and gave him a soft kiss before snuggling back into him.  
I had grabbed several books to pass the time, so I stayed there and read while he slept.  
I was wrong on both accounts. I was wrong in thinking that I would regret this in the morning. It was going on 7 AM, and the sun was shining through the window. The hangover had fully set in, and the buzz was gone. And I had yet to feel any trace of regret or remorse for pouring my heart out to Jerry or returning his affection. And surprisingly, I was wrong when I said I wouldn’t get a second chance. My second chance was behind me, arms wrapped around my bony torso and snoring like a hippo. 

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There you go, you filthy animals.  
So, for those of you who skipped down here. The two essential things you need to know from this are one: Either Tony is a ghost/super fast zombie, or I’m just losing it even more now, and two: Jerry and I are dating. I’m sure this isn’t the return after my little break that you were expecting. But do things ever really happen the way you think they’re going to at the gas station? Or anywhere in this shitty little town, for that matter. Anyway, I’m sure you’ll get another update soon enough. Until then, this is Jack from the shitty gas station at the edge of town signing off.


End file.
